I remember
going to visit her and hugging her because she looked so sad. I asked "what's
wrong mom?" And as she burst into tears, she said "I don't know
who I am, I am a nobody, I am no good for anything!" I, being very
innocent in the ways of Alzheimer's,
Thought she was only having a down day. I didn't fully understand then
that she was beginning to lose herself! The word Alzheimer's was not yet
known to me...little did I know just how familiar I would become with it!
I now realize that even with the disease she was much wiser than I! She
knew there were bits of her that were becoming long lost while I was living
in a world of my own...Blind to the presence of something that was taking
over our very lives. I took her little face gently in my hands and said
"look in the mirror and tell me what you see"
She never mentioned herself but saw only me in the reflection. I told her
..... then you are someone...I am your daughter and you are my mother!
I explained just how important a mother is to her child and she smiled
and seemed happy knowing that she mattered and was someone after all! I
still can see her reflection on that day...I saw only her and she saw only
me in that mirror...and for a minute it gave her a sense of having a reason
for being! A mothers love remains even while they are losing themselves!
I believe that while AD is taking everything away it cannot remove the
love that is found in ones true spirit! God himself has told us that the
greatest gift of all is LOVE!!!! Even a dreaded disease cannot take that
away from us!
Brenda
Race © 2001