Still 1998 (Right Click To Stop Midi)


the past writings


The Crossing

I've gone in dreams to see her,
A woman so full of sweetness and love
That I've felt her presence time after time
At the crossroads of my life.

The decades since her passing
Could not erase the warmth of the memories;
The smells in her kitchen,
The tenderness of her caring heart.

And now, my life complete at last,
She beckons once again in dreams
And I prepare for the journey -
Anxious to be on my way.

I'll go in a dream to meet her,
Only this time I will stay and bask
In the love unbound by mortality
And given freely - forever.

I'll sit throughout eternity
In that kitchen of her selflessness
And perhaps even pave the way
For those who will follow.


Last Request

May the anguish and the heartache as we share these final hours
Be tempered with serenity and prayer,
And may understanding wend its way through sadness and through tears
Till the emptiness within you is not there.
May you realize that even though I've left you for a time
That only one small part is laid to rest.
That part of me--that flesh and bone--corrupted by disease--
Has no place in this--my last request.

I ask that they who grieve and mourn will celebrate instead
My Spirit, now unbound and flying free,
For the open hearts and open minds of those who will believe
Shall still receive their comfort yet from me.
Look for me in the gentle breeze or in the summer rains.
I'll be there with the blossoms in the Spring.
Look for me in that twilight time, twixt wakefulness and sleep
I'll be with you, too, when birds and children sing.
Should Life's distractions bring you down--should you be feeling blue,
Should you be in need of counsel and of care,
Just think of me and I'll respond, for my Spirit is nearby--
Just call on me, my friends, and I'll be there. --


The Land of Senippah

When the world becomes so grim
That I no longer keep my head,
When little things loom larger
Than disasters that I dread,
When my feelings are chaotic
And all my nerves are raw,
I know it's time that I return
To the Land of Senippah.

I close my eyes and close my ears,
I take complete control-
With each escaping thought I sense
Diverted to my soul.
Emotions then are sorted out
And some mysterious law
Will let my conscious self invade
The Land of Senippah.

Now Senippah is a secret place
Where only I can be.
It lies so deep within my mind
It's only known by me.
There are no aches or pains there
No biases or fears.
In Senippah there's only love-
It's been that way for years.

When I return from Senippah
I'm ready for the test-
I'm ready to take on the world
To do my very best-
To carry out my duties
To perform without a flaw.
It's the only me that I can be
When I've been to Senippah.

Today I looked into a mirror
And much to my surprise,
There was the sign for Senippah
Deep within my eyes.
The secret, too, within my soul,
Was there, I must confess-
What that sign reflected back to me
Was almost Happiness!!


I see you across the room
Locked safely into your gerry chair
And chewing frantically -
As if there were something in your mouth.

You clap your hands with gusto
As if you were part of an unseen audience -
Then cry with melancholy sobs at the sadness
Of a show no one else can see.

Later, you chat happily in a language
That no one can understand
Except your only friend - the image of yourself
Reflected in the fish tank across the room.

Tonight, when the fatigue of your reality
Reaches its highest level,
You'll slap your forehead over and over again
As if to dislodge your demon before you sleep.

I see you across the room
Locked safely into your gerry chair -
And I resent your Alzheimer's
And what it has done to the rest of our lives.



Comfort is not something
you can find upon a page,
No matter how creatively arranged.
And empty words from loved ones
cannot fill the terrible void,
Felt so deeply since your life has been so changed.

But as coming days and weeks go by,
when your pain is not as sharp,
And the sadness that you feel begins to wane,
The Lord will touch your heart with love
until you understand-
And sweet memories will take the place of pain.



At times our pathways grow so vague,
Our destinies unclear.
It seems there's naught for us in life
But loneliness and fear -
And though our paths might cross
Countless others year by year
We begin to doubt a soulmate
Ever will appear.
Then just ahead we see it -
Two pathways that will merge
Into one for all eternity
And we hasten to converge,
For the path beyond is wider there,
With life and love and caring
And we thank the Lord for guiding us
To the path that we are sharing.



They are almost imperceptible-
Those little changes day to day
That tell me you are getting worse.
No one else notices
You seem the same to them.
But they don't lift you from the gerry chair
And walk you to the bathroom
To be cleaned up and diapered anew.
They cannot see that your feet,
Though moving,
Are taking less and less of your weight-
Causing my back to ache
And my shoulders to rebel
From the strain.
"At least she still has her appetite!"
They say as they watch me spoon oatmeal
Into your mouth.
They have no clue that your enthusiam
Is just as great when you try to devour
Your pajama top or my throw pillows.

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