I remember going to visit her and hugging her because she looked so sad. I asked "what's wrong mom?" And as she burst into tears, she said "I don't know who I am, I am a nobody, I am no good for anything!" I, being very innocent in the ways of Alzheimer's,

Thought she was only having a down day. I didn't fully understand then that she was beginning to lose herself! The word Alzheimer's was not yet known to me...little did I know just how familiar I would become with it! I now realize that even with the disease she was much wiser than I! She knew there were bits of her that were becoming long lost while I was living in a world of my own...Blind to the presence of something that was taking over our very lives. I took her little face gently in my hands and said "look in the mirror and tell me what you see"

She never mentioned herself but saw only me in the reflection. I told her ..... then you are someone...I am your daughter and you are my mother! I explained just how important a mother is to her child and she smiled and seemed happy knowing that she mattered and was someone after all! I still can see her reflection on that day...I saw only her and she saw only me in that mirror...and for a minute it gave her a sense of having a reason for being! A mothers love remains even while they are losing themselves! I believe that while AD is taking everything away it cannot remove the love that is found in ones true spirit! God himself has told us that the greatest gift of all is LOVE!!!! Even a dreaded disease cannot take that away from us!


Brenda Race © 2001

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