She came to us about a year ago.
Already slipping away farther than we could know.
Was I blind not to see
or did I lie to myself and say it couldnít be.
She covered it well for many years
through all of the pain and the many tears
but I was blind and could not see
Who was I fooling....only me
I look into her eyes that were always so blue
but now they are dull and without a clue
The sparkle that once was there is no more
every thought has become a chore.
I prayed to God to make it go away
By my side I would have her stay
but time is painfully wearing me down
the stress of it all..... a constant frown
I thought I could help her and prolong the day
when she no longer could find the words to say
My only goal was to make her happy for her last years
but now I have so many fears.
The day finally came when she knew me not
it hurt so bad that this battle could not be fought
So many emotions all in one day
Please dear God show me the way!
I know that somewhere deep inside
are things that even she canít hide.
She has thoughts and fears I know
Take those fears dear Lord and make them go.
Give her peace and fill her with love
let her know that you are above
and angels are right here by her side
and in their glow she will abide.
Show her, God, that we really care
that our love for her will always be there
she may not be the mom we knew
but she will still be our mom when all is through!
Copyright © 1998 Brenda Race
Used with permission of the author.
Brenda wrote this in October 1998, and her
mother went in a nursing home a few months later,
in December. Brenda and I have so much in common,
even the fact that our mothers were placed in nursing
homes just after Christmas, after a year of caregiving.
Brenda continued to visit her mother
regularly and to share hours with her until her
mothers death in December 1999. Brenda has posted
her beautiful poetry at
A Window on My Mind
and it can be found in Insights
Outreach as well as at her own site,
Poems, Prayers and Promises.
Email Brenda at: firstname.lastname@example.org