As I enter the halls I look around
Hoping and praying that some sanity will be found
Many who know me seem happy I am there
Wandering about....seeming to be without care.
I used to rush in and to each give a hug and a kiss
But the more I go....the harder this is
For I know the fate of each one there
and knowing the facts makes it harder to bear
With each passing day I see a decline
Just a little more taken from each, a snip at a time
This thing is so senseless with no reason to be
So I plead to you God, please let them be free
I look at my mother and I see the same
she is no longer there....only by name
So I turn to you God and again I ask
Why God....for you this cannot be so great a task
There has to be a purpose for all that I see
But God just tell me what it could be
TALK to me and tell me why
Because I do not understand as hard as I try.
I know that life is not always fair
and in my heart I know that you care
You watched your son hang on a cross and die
but you knew the reason, you knew the why.
So forgive me God as I question you so
you have the answer....there is nowhere else to go
Give me the wisdom, the insight to see
Just why is it that they cannot be free?

Copyright © 1999 Brenda Race
Used with permission of the author.

Brenda was caregiver to her mother for a year
until her mother was placed in a nursing home in
December 1998. This poem was written almost seven months
later, on July 15, 1999. Brenda continued to visit her mother
regularly and to share hours with her until her
mothers death in December 1999. Brenda has posted
her beautiful poetry at A Window on My Mind
and it can be found in Insights at Alzheimer's
Outreach as well as at her own site,
Poems, Prayers and Promises.

Email Brenda at: brace47@charter.net